One minute I’m okay, one minute I’m not. I guess it’s darn tiring when you have to face selfish idiots.

…

I need  a 15 minute nap, but I don’t see a possibility of having one anytime today. If I really can’t take it anymore, I’m to have one in the toilet before CCA (since I can’t have  a little shut eye without the presence of prying eyes waiting to jump on every little flaw of mine).

…

Balance. It’s not easy. Priorities? I think the I’ve screwed up the whole hierarchy. Shit.

LOL.

Warning: Addictive. Tengok sekali nak re-play lagi. Oklah nak tengok lagi sekali sebelum balik. hahaha. Almost just as funny as Achmed the Dead Terrorist, minus the racist jokes.

“Knock knock.”

“Who’s there?”

“Me. I keel uuu.”

Nyahahaha.

Only God knows how tired I am right now. If only I can get a little more sleep…

Lucky me, it’s mid week Wednesday… the only day with lotsa free periods in the morning.. So ya, I’m going to rest a little then, start marking books. I’m so going to leave school immediately after CCM. If I have enough energy, I’ll hit the gym. If not, then it’s back to bed for me till about 6pm, then I’ll head to Bedok. Somehow, the latter seems like a better option for now.

…

God, please give me strength to pull through.

…

I miss those moments. Moments I thought would last forever.

We don’t normally celebrate anniversaries, but we made the 5th an exception.  Glad we made it through the past five wonderful years together… and hopefully, we’ll share many more happy years ahead.

…

My Mak finally retired! My Adik & me will be taking care of the household expenditure from now on. So finally, after more than ten years of slogging in that factory, she gets her well deserved rest. No more compromised sleep because of night shift.  No more annoying supervisors and lazy colleagues to play “tai chee” with.

Ok the topsy turvy title is influenced by words of my younger sisters of WD…

But no, this post will not touch on the flaws of my friendship with WD because though on some days they may be off-key and be living proof that natural harmonization can happen, they are STILL the almost perfect team mates I’ve ever met… (then this is the part when Rohani cries and says “Shhoo shhweet”. Hahh)

…

TALKING

… is good, when words you say, are the truth. No point saying things for the sake of it. Do me a favour and stop the whole freaking charade.

LAUGHING

… is great for health; eases tension and stress brought about by work and a whole busload of commitments… but laughing shouldn’t be any fun, if it hurts another party. Grow up. Trust me, you won’t die of boredom if you stop bitching behind others’ backs.

…

NEUTRAL

Naz has always been the nicer one and always ALWAYS told me that it’s okay to sit on the fence once in a while whenever it came to sharing opinions about others. I’m quite safe in his circle because I have refused to be committed to any strong opinions… but, sadly I chose to take sides in mine, so the darn fence fell dragging along with it everyone else to the other side. Probably a sudden gust of wind? Or was my eyesight failing me? Throughout the ordeal, I was pretty sure they were not initially on that side.

Ouh itu jalan pintas namanya. Jalan pintas untuk keluar. Untuk hilangkan segala noda dan, akhirnya bersih… daripada segala tuduhan dan cemuhan. Kan senang?

Ouh well, life’s like that sometimes. But no regrets, I’m good this way. People I am close with need to be people I can trust. If the trust is gone, then it’s alright… I’ll manage on my own.

…

My friends should be people who look out for me. My friends should be people who tell me the truth even when it hurts because they do not want me to get hurt even deeper. My friends should be people I can trust.

If not?

…then you are just an acquaintance to me.

I have a particular Indonesian student who’s compos often include her life’s  own philosophies. I am seriously in awe everytime I read her compos.

“Teman itu seumpama penumpang dalam bas, singgah sejenak lalu pergi tanpa mempunyai hubungan apa pun dengan kita lagi, sedangkan keluarga itu umpama penggendara bas sejauh apa pun mereka pergi tetap satu dengan kita, disatukan dengan tali yang tidak terlihat.”

…

Got me thinking; I think I should spend a bit more time with the family.

Just thinking about how packed my schedule is going to be like for the weeks to come is making me tired already. Dikir trainings four times per week, CCA twice a week… In addition to that, I also intend to squeeze in time in the evenings for daily jogs.

…

I realized that I’ve been spending most of my time with Naz ever since I started working; to the extent of not meeting other friends. But somehow, he brings me the comfort that is much needed during my weekends… so, this arrangement will work for now. and, yes I only get to meet him during the weekends… only occasionally on weekdays.

Minutes ago I was trudging my feet heavily as I entered the school with a heavy heart… but now suddenly, the weight lifted. I never knew the rowdy class I didn’t quite like teaching could be the solution…

It was fun discussing such issues with them… at one point it was funny when they started making weird over-generalisations about love and life.

“… lelaki-lelaki gemuk selalu lebih caring daripada lelaki kurus.”

When asked why…

“…sebab lelaki kurus aksyen…”

LOL. Then, I consider myself lucky.

…

Honestly, we’re as different as two sides of a coin. I’m a hopeless romantic; he’s not. I like discussing issues about life, love … even death, while he’s the practical kind of guy who just wants to live his days happily without having to be bogged down by morbid thoughts of death and loss.

Sorry k love. Sorry I made a fuss out of nothing.  I’ll stop bugging you with silly questions… I’ll bring them to school instead… Expository writing? Debate? Hmmm not too bad an idea.

Maybe I’m just too demanding? Too idyllistic? I don’t know.

…

I have needs, that must be fulfilled. Insecurities that must be silenced.

…

Heavy.